I’ve been procrastinating sharing my story because I’ve been feeling guilty… But then I always tell everyone not to feel guilty for their happiness so I guess I should take my own advice. It’s just – I know how many women have struggles with various aspects of the child birthing and child rearing process.. But maybe (most likely) this is just hormones and the difficult times will hit me soon enough.
So, let me share with you my birth story!
First off – my birthday is on a 5th.. Well, I’ve already told you this before… And that was 10 days before my due date, so I definitely was not expecting anything to happen…
Towards the end of my pregnancy I was definitely feeling like my body needed some bolts tightened. I think this is why there are so many of those fitness oriented moms. Nothing makes you appreciate and value being in good physical shape as getting pregnant a couple of times. The things your body can do are amazing. The things your body can do in its top form are even better! :)
My Braxton Hicks were getting to be painful and more and more frequent for a few weeks already. My stomach would often tense up when I stood up or did anything mildly strenuous. Every morning when I would walk to the bathroom – it would already feel like a mini labor – because of the pain in my pelvic bone and the cramping in my back muscles etc. So every morning I would breathe and wait and watch if that pain and tightness would turn into regular contractions. And this particular morning, my husband went to work… And the pain stayed.
With my first labor my contractions were very defined, there was a particular on/off pattern, and once I got past the initial shock – it wasn’t that painful really just exhausting (ok, it was definitely still painful, but compared to this second time – not so much).
This second time around. Holy moly! It wasn’t about feeling the tension, I was getting dizzy from the pain! I got my contraction timer, saw that they were about every 10 minutes already (which was my instructed “come to the hospital now” interval) and I started getting things together.
Thankfully I had packed some of my hospital bag already, just had a few last minute things to throw in. I would maximize my intervals between contractions by running around and getting things and getting dressed before lying back down. After only 2 or 3 intervals of 10 minutes I started getting contractions in between, having to stop and hold on to something.. So, we were already at 5 or less minutes half an hour in!
Now, my husband rides a motorcycle and we share our locations through an app, so I knew he was almost at work and I didn’t want to compromise his safety and call him. I sent him an “I think this is IT” text so he could see it and come home. No response… In a bit I see he is definitely already at the office, so I give him a “this is not an effing drill what the hell are you doing” call, and what would you know, he’s having a nice coffee, chatting with some co workers… 40 minutes later he gets home, and I’m not seeing him rushing the way I need to see him rushing! I’m 5 minutes apart, I was already thinking of driving myself to the hospital if I could. If I don’t get an epidural in me soon – I don’t care what happens to the world!
But no, he wants to call first (fine). The lady starts trying to tell me it’s a little to early and I should come when my contractions are more frequent. I’m like – whatever lady, I’m coming and you can’t stop me. Yo hubbs, the bag is packed, I’m dressed, let’s go!
During the ride, which felt like forever, I was curled up in the back seat, against the car seat, my pain levels surpassed human control and my face started twitching during my contractions. I asked my husband if he’d think less of me if I were to ask for another c section because – I’m already exhausted and in no shape. I had no idea how I could push a baby out in x hours after enduring more of this. (really, I just wanted them to stop the contractions. The one part that mentally broke me from last time – I was praying for now). I knew that there was an already normal sized baby inside me, that would need to come out one way or, basically the same way. But we could sort that out later, at that point I just wanted the contractions to stop because I couldn’t take it any longer…
So, I’m all – why is this ride tacking so long! Gawd, do they really need all these stoplights?! We pull up and here I am – barely shuffling to the door, clutching my pillow and leaning on columns with my twitching face. No one is rushing out to plop me in a wheel chair and rush me up there. “Up there” turned out to be on the 3rd floor with the world’s slowest elevator, and at the very very end of the world’s longest hallway. Of course I am exaggerating just a tiny bit, but really the elevator was on one end of the building and the labor admitting office people all the way at the other. I think it took us at least 5 minutes and 3 contractions to walk that. Somewhere in there I declined the wheel chair because I figured it’ll hurt more getting in and out of it…
We get in, I’m already at 5 if not 7 cm, I’ve got a “buldgy bag”, I beg for c section, they laugh and say – honey, it’s too late! We settle for an epidural but the anesthesiologist is somewhere else.. (why is there not one IN labor and delivery?? I get that there were only 2 women in labor at that time including myself, but let’s create more jobs and have one just there. Right? I would pay 50 dollars at least to not have to wait for pain management when I go into labor and have already gotten to the hospital and taken my clothes off….)
This whole time they’re trying to stick those monitors around my belly, and check things “up” or rather “down” there.. You know what’s worse than being in labor and having gone from start to 5+ cm in 3 hrs and having to WAIT for the anesthesiologist? I’ll tell you – doing all that and having people touch and push and squeeze your contracting belly! That’s the worst!!! Ugh!
Finally the lady waltzes in, starts asking me if I’m SURE (of course I’m frikkin sure, I made them call you and spent the last eternity waiting for you!! Otherwise I would’ve just gone back home.. Had some breakfast and watched more SpongeBob with my first son whom I already miss incredibly, yes damn it, I’m sure! Now do your job!!) and then she makes me sign all these papers. I can barely wrestle my hand out from under all the tubes (by this time I was already on an IV since I didn’t have anything to eat or drink yet and needed antibiotics for Group B Strep, and my other arm was being monitored in fifty different ways to make sure I didn’t die..).
Finally!! They make me sit up and tell me to be super still while they make a hole into my spine potentially paralyzing me forever and ever and who knows what else. I’m having contractions that are making my face twitch uncontrollably and are of 18 wheeler proportions!!! And I have to sit up absolutely still or else… Let me cut the suspense – of course I did it. You bet your hiney! For that sweet sweet relief! And it did not disappoint!! All those feeling horrible things I mentioned went away and it was just me and the industrial sized metallic tube (there is no way that would qualify as a “needle”, it was a full on pipe) sticking out of my arm, with layers of tape pushing it against my wrist bone, and the occasional squeeze of the blood pressure cuff. Maybe I would even have gotten a snooze if someone’s phone didn’t keep going off because they were texting with the world, *ahem*.
Since I tested gbs positive a few weeks before I needed antibiotics, and they wanted to get the full dose into me before we broke my water and started pushing. Epidurals usually slow down labor, so they let me relax for a while and take advantage of that.
So, I’ll leave my story off here for now and take a nap myself while everyone else is sleeping!
To be continued…!
